


One more minute

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, tw: abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: SQ Prompt : I hope you saw Big Little lies , maybe we can get a story about regina beeing abused by one of her lover and she tries to hide it. Maybe you could add that Regina is drinking more and more alcohol, it's working for a long time but then Emma notice it and she shows her how beautiful a relationship can be :) Asked by anon via tumblr.





	One more minute

**Author's Note:**

> I put it on the tags but just to be clear; even if there's not an graphic description of abuse it is mentioned and one can see how abuse affects Regina on this one so I just want to write one final trigger warning.

An hour and twenty minutes. The numbers danced in front of her eyes as she swallowed the liquor that had been sloshing on her glass for far too long but she hold to them as she closed her eyes, tired and muted colors appearing on her dark eyelids. She still could see them briefly as she opened her eyes again and focused on the polished surface of Aesop’s counter, her right hand still holding the now empty glass with her index and thumb. An hour and nineteen minutes before she was late.

Late, the whole concept made her want to scoff but she was tired already of the thought of it and as she tried her best to reconciliate the burning taste of alcohol that still adhered to the back of her throat she wondered, not for the first time, if she actually could be late. Feeling the weight of her phone on the pocket of her blazer, she forgone the idea; the thought of it frightening her already. She couldn’t be late and, as she sighed, glass already midway through her lips even if she factually knew it to be empty, she felt the worry and fear beginning to ebb way, replaced by stories and lies she knew she needed them desperately to be truth.

She had chosen after all, the thought run through her mind, blazing, scorching. Hadn’t she? She was in love and, as such, everything was alright.

A voice on the back of mind, still not soothed enough, whispered that no, it wasn’t alright but she had long ago decided that the voice was dangerous. It made her wish of some other life after all. One she couldn’t… didn’t want to have. Jaw clenched, she thumbed the edge of her purse, mentally counting if she could have another drink before starting to sober herself. Her magic felt sluggish, like every time she was disconnected from it for too long and she feared that a magic trick wouldn’t do the work. Wincing at the memory of the magic suppresser on her skin, the touch of it cold no matter for how long she wore the leather band, she licked her lips. It was for the best, she thought, repeating words she knew -needed- them to be true, magic was incensed there, on Storybrooke, it was more difficult to control it, to wield it. A magic suppressor was for her best and the few times she could get it off was something she should be proud of. She was getting better at calculating the required energy for small hexes and spells after all. She was making him proud.

Still, the liquor wasn’t going to go away if she couldn’t preform a small spell on herself so she put the glass down with a forceful thud and, squaring her shoulders, called for Aesop himself. She preferred the quietness of the place during the strange hours of afternoon in where almost no one felt inclined to enter. Loud voices exhausted her.

Lips quirked in a mirthless smile she paid and left, searching on her bones the strength to keep walking in the high stiletto shoes she hadn’t feel like using today.

Fifty minutes.

She wasn’t late. She would make it work.

* * *

It worked. What worked and what was supposed to be working wasn’t something she wasn’t very sure anymore but it did for longer than she -some she she wasn’t sure neither who had been- had expected. Aesop’s afternoons stopped soon but the drinking didn’t. It was a way to mutter the pain of her magic buzzing inside of her, unspent and restricted. A way to make her feel like she could manage the stress and headaches that came with the long hours of being a politician, the stress of the title wearing her down. At least that’s what him told her and, to be honest, he was right. He must be right.

It worked until she received a date she hadn’t expected of green eyes and a soft, shy smile that made her swallow thickly as Emma closed the door behind her, holding a bag that smelt like Granny’s food and a bunch of papers Regina was sure that should have already been filed away. It worked, slightly, barely, almost, until Emma sat in front of her and proclaimed that it had already been too long since they had had a proper meal together. A truth, but a truth that hadn’t really crossed Regina’s mind until she realized she craved it.

“I’ve been very busy.” She mumbled and stared down at the numbers she had been trying to put together for a good deal of her morning. Stomach rumbling and feeling not entirely squeamish to the idea of food, she bit down on her lip and tilted her head, looking up at Emma while she did so.

The blonde’s eyes weren’t looking at her but at the food and yet they seemed to be somber, somber in the same way her back was straighter than usual and her fingers brimming with dirty white hued magic Regina felt the pull to even if she was currently using the suppressor. Clenching her hands, the brunette took a gulp of air; she felt dizzy.

“I know, I know.” Emma smiled at her and seated on what had been her usual chair once upon a time; one leg already crossed on top of the other, right hand sitting carelessly on her knee, long fingers drumming on her jeans. “I’ve missed you though, every time I try to call at your house…”

She halted, her voice dying down and Regina nodded.

“He prefers to work from home.” She offered, non-committally. Emma nodded at that and stretched, taking her sandwich from the table and biting it as Regina stared at the side fries the blonde had brought with her. She shouldn’t feel hungry, she thought, but the fries tempted her.

“Pick some.” Emma’s grin had turned mischievous. “I know you adore them.”

It was an easy enough concept for Regina to blink at it. It was true after all; she adored them and yet she almost feared them to taste like ash the moment she took one and bit into it. It didn’t.

“How are you doing?” It came out stiffer than intended; every time she had seen the blonde before it had been more scheduled; with enough anticipation for her to feel… herself. The idea made her shake her head a little. She was already herself, she thought morosely, she needed to take a nap. Or coffee, her mind added quickly, the weak voice fortunately quiet.

Emma was eyeing the grilled sandwich but her irises seemed to tremble beneath her slightly dropped eyelids. She looked tired as well, dark circles beneath her eyes and Regina stared at her hands, wondering if she could feel the magic that was blinding to her if she dared to touch the blonde. Sighing, she decided against it. It wasn’t right, her mind whispered, the voice now closer to one she knew all too well already.

“Still haven’t been eaten by a troll so I’m considering that a success.” Emma’s smile was grim, however, and the joke fell flat on the tense atmosphere of the room. Regina let out a smile though, shoulders hunching as she took on another fry. “I was at Aesop yesterday though, asked me about you.”

It was a brusque change of the conversation but Emma had never been subtle. It was her brashness what had drove Regina mad at the beginning, the memory of those times less fuzzier than others. Feeling dread already starting to grow like vines inside her stomach, Regina momentarily wished for herself to still be staring at numbers she was sure she wasn’t going to be able to understand. Not as she had once after all.

The last thought brought her back to Emma’s face; she shouldn’t have thought that in the same way Aesop shouldn’t have asked for her. It had been two months since she had last been there.

“Emma…” It came close to a plea and Regina swallowed bile as she stopped, not entirely sure of what she had been about to say. Emma’s eyes narrowed as Regina reached for another fry, her left hand dropping the sandwich and touching her knuckles. The movement startled her but, for a second, she felt the electricity on Emma’s skin, the one she had learnt to link to the scent and power that came with the blonde’s magic. Magic that now laid, inert, as her body wasn’t able to take it.

“How about I come tomorrow?” Emma’s eyes were serious but her words were gentle and Regina trembled as she thought why she couldn’t scare the woman away.

However, as her lips parted, her answer was a yes that seemed to echo on the room long after Emma finished her sandwich and left, eyes full of thunder.

* * *

Emma not only came after that day but started to come every single day after that first lunch date. Never once she questioned Regina’s red-rimmed eyes nor the occasional halfway drunk glass that the brunette had on one corner of the desk but she kept on insisting for the brunette to eat and, in one case, to get an actual nap.

“You can’t do anything of this if you keep looking as if you are under some sort of curse.” She had said and her easy smile had won against Regina’s treacherous remorse.

What she did comment on, however, was how Regina was way better than him. A message that made Regina want to laugh at as she remembered the same words being said by her in a time and moment in where Emma had asked for guidance. She had been right at that moment and, as she heard the words one afternoon, with two hours still to spare, she wanted to hang her head in shame.

“I’m honest.” Emma insisted, eyes still focused on the piece of paper she had promised Regina she would review with her. “You are.”

It was a heavy enough idea for Regina to feel it on the pit of her stomach. Terrible enough for the “yes” that burnt on her throat be dangerous. Awful enough that she thought back on the times she had thought on the other woman in a way that now felt too far away from her, from her magic, from the woman she had been.

“ _Pathetic._ ” The word dug itself on the back of her eyes, making her blink as she lowered her gaze.

“Em…” This time the blonde shook her head, not letting her a moment to continue, to stop her.

“How about a date? Outside here, on my place.”

_“I can’t help you if you won’t let me. I can’t open the door if you don’t let me. I can’t speak to you if you don’t let me.”_

Magic heavy now on the blurry edges of the blonde’s body, Regina stared at it. The words hadn’t been said and yet they resonated heavily on her mind; a memory of herself seated against a door, Emma standing as she asked her to enter, to let her be closer to her.

She couldn’t. Shouldn’t. Wouldn’t.

And yet, she craved it. Craved for a reason that made her want to puke and smile, a smidge of something, of her own self, resonating on her voice as she answered.

“Maybe.”

The clock ticked.


End file.
